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Making honey


  Bees make honey? We've known this since we were kids, so we take it for granted. But bees are insects - furry body, red, not red!... yellow, and black stripy, hairy leggy, big ears ... big eyes! - big ears as well, but they leave them behind when they go out ... (got out of that one) - medium size wings ... You know - they're buzzy things, you know, and they make honey?! Which is in your morning, on your breakfast toastie, in a jar, kind of - how do they do make that? I mean ... do earwigs make chutney? Do spiders make gravy? What is going on? Earwigs going:
- Get the chutney under that stone there ... tra-lala ... We make chutney all day ...
It's an earwig's life, ain't it?
- Put the chutney in there, there we go ...
And spiders, saying:
- Gravy, yes ... no problem at all, mate. We'll make spider gravy, the way spiders like to make it, yes ... Put the cubs in there ... Hold on, Legs ... There you go, mate. Can we get the measuring jar back when you're finished?
It's very weird.
So - the way bees make honey, is they get ten bees together, they fly down to a supermarket, they get a jar of honey, and they bring it back, that's how!
And also, bees look for pollen; they find pollen, and when they do, they come back to the hive.
- I've found pollen.
- Where did you find pollen?
And instead of telling the other bees, they do an intricate dance in front of them.
- Tra-lala ...
- Brian, where's the pollen?
- Tra-lala...
- Where's the bloody pollen, Brian? All this leaping about can wait until later!
Why doesn't the first bee who found the pollen say:
- Follow me, bzzzzz! Here it is.
That could work, couldn't it? No, they don't think.

Eddie Izzard: Unrepeatable (1994)


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